Joelosophy

The latest misinterpretation of a previous post is what prompts me to write this. The post in question can be found here.

It is, grantedly, rather cryptic and less diligent readers might not have gotten the point. Then again, no one, not even those I consider more literarily evolved than I, who've read it seem to have gotten the point either. So perhaps I'm just a lousy writer. But still.

Simply put, the whole point of that convoluted exercise in prose boils down to the question: Did God create man, or did Man create god? In essence, is it possible that "God" is merely a figment of Man's imagination, conjured as an insulant failsafe to the uncertainties of life? A device invented to quell Man's doubts and insecurities when things go wrong. You gotta admit, negotiating the highwire act that is life is much easier when you've got a divinely infallible safety net beneath you that is "God."

Those of you who know me from my church days might be a tad scandalised by the mere entertainment of such a thought. The once-oh-so-pious-he-had-one-foot-in-seminary Joel actually questioning the existence of God? Well, yes. Get over it.

Now before you start building a pyre in the middle of the town square, objectively consider the question. Objectively. Does "God" give meaning to your life, or do you give meaning to His existence?

I look forward to your dramatic expressions of disbelief and disappointment the next time we chat. But just consider it, objectively.

Posted by Joel at 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

It's been quite a while since my last post. A slightly busier schedule and a temporary cure from the writing bug have kept the blog stagnant. Quite a bit has happened since then.

For one, I recently discovered that this blog has been receiving some rather distinguished guests. Much to my initial horror and subsequent amusement. Horror because at that time, I could not say with absolute certainty that I had not revealed any state secrets here (I have since read through all my posts and indeed I have not), and amusement because for those who know how, it really is remarkably easy to track a person down on the Internet. To these special readers who may still be perusing, I'd like to extend a special welcome and also state for the record that all opinions expressed here are personal. If anything I've written impresses you, I am honoured and glad; if anything offends, it is with a sense of personal integrity that I stand by them nonetheless. I only offer that such personal expressions should be understood within their proper experiential contexts and not taken at face value. And by no means are they meant to be an indictment of an entire corp.

So, dear unexpected guests, a pleasure and honour to have you here. My two years spent amidst the auspices of your authority and patronage have been so much more fruitful than I could have ever imagined. Come 10 August, it will be with bittersweet and unfatigued sentiments that I set aside my fatigues. I consider it a privilege to have served with and under you. Well, most of you.

Posted by Joel at 3:42 PM | Permalink | Comments

A Shandi-shaped outdoor table ornament.

Posted by Joel at 2:50 PM | Permalink | Comments

The Creator awoke one day and looked down upon all that existed before Him, as He had done so everyday since the dawn of the ages. He gazed upon the rolling hills that stretched to eternity and the rocky peaks that climbed beyond the heavens; emerald fields which shimmered under cool breezes, gentle winds that meandered through the valleys and forests and carried to Him the very perfume of creation: every wild flowering plant, explosive in colour and festive in fruit; the beasts, of every hide and skill, the prides and their prey; everything that pulsed with nectar and blood, a harmonious and wonderous testament to His benevolence and grace.

He looked upon the awesome beauty that was his domain and was filled with gladness. But as the gusts ebbed, the strange but lately familiar feeling came to Him again. Was there something still amiss? Once more, He peered into the vast expanse of existence. It was as an artist poring over a masterwork, convinced of the perfection hidden in just one last secret stroke. And then He saw the imperfection which had been veiled to His utopist eye. In the far-flung crevices of His domain, lay disease and famine, cancers that blemished an immaculate existence. But how could this be, when all He had known and willed was only goodness? For the first time, He felt uncertainty and fear.

And so The Creator decided to create one last time. It would be a creature that would quell these new emotions that plagued His heart and mind like the disease and famine. So in His infinite mind, He willed forth a perfect creature of unprecedented might and wisdom. A creature that He would entrust to watch over all of existence, who would be a shepherd to His flocks and a keeper of His gardens. He would give him dominion over everything, to watch and care for it, and attribute to him the power to regulate the seasons and the tides. But most importantly, he would be the ultimate cure for His uncertainty and fear, to whom He would turn to in times of trouble.

He created him in a fitting image: His own. And Man named him "God."

Posted by Joel at 1:22 AM | Permalink | Comments

Just got back from taking the mutts for a walk at East Coast with Aaron. We got there in Aaron's pick-up. I sat up front, Fang had the back seat all to himself and Shandi alternated between the floor, my lap, stomach, shoulders and face. By the time we got there, I looked like a doggie version of the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

I was surprised that when we got out, besides the customary ass/groin sniffing, there wasn't much else interaction. Between Fang and Shandi I mean. Aaron and I have known each other long enough to dispense with such niceties. But it was the first time our canine friends had met. I was also surprised that Fang didn't try to eat Shandi. But then again, Fang doesn't eat anything not prepared by a chef with at least three Michelin stars. (Aaron regularly serves him steak, salmon and the occasional bowl of red wine. You think I'm kidding.)

And for some inexplicable reason, Shandi preferred to tread on the soil and dirt instead of the paved track, eventhough there were very prominent signs that indicated it was a walking track. So it was a good thing I had her on a tight leash. It was not a good thing though, that everytime we stopped for a water break, she would feel the need to thank me by pouncing onto my lap with her freshly soiled paws. So by the end of our walk, a passerby would have thought that I was some kind of pervert who liked to rub dirt over my erm, personal region.

Aaron and I were walked by Fang and Shandi for about an hour until we decided to head home in order to beat the rush hour traffic. So it was back into the pick-up again with Fang in the back seat and a squirming Shandi-shaped lump of dirt on my lap, stomach, shoulders and face. Aaron later suggested that the next time we should bring them to MacRitchie. I thought that was a great idea. He can take Fang and I'll bring a camera, so I can show Shandi the lovely scenary that she missed.



Aaron and Shandi. And some of Fang's... fangs.



Fang, the wolf. Imagine running into this guy in the middle of the night. But I swear, he's got the most beautiful eyes.



The camera puts on 10 pounds. (Don't say a word!!)



To her list of bad habits such as chewing up the garden plants, peeing on the porch and barking at small children strolling past our gates, Shandi can now add another one. Thank you, Aaron.

PS: Shandi and I would like to sincerely apologise to the National Parks Board for the disappearance of East Coast Park. I promise to return it to its proper place once I manage to get it out of my clothes.

Posted by Joel at 5:23 PM | Permalink | Comments

Pilferred from the Halls of Mandos, while the Keeper was taking a leak.

- 10 Favorites
Favorite Color: White. Matches the colour of my complexion.
Favorite Food: Salmon sashimi, dipped in soy sauce tinged with whiskey. Gastronomic equivilent of an orgasm.
Favorite Song: A timeless favourite would be Somewhere Over The Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo.
Favorite Movie: Man In The Iron Mask, because Leonardo was just so cute in it! No seriously, because the Knights watched it together.
Favorite Sport: The endless pursuit of tar and gravel.
Favorite Season: Winter. Orchard Road that time of the year is such an amazing sight, don't you think?
Favourite Day Of the Week: Friday.
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Vanilla, anytime. I'm a purist.

- 9 Current
Current Mood: Anticipation.
Current Taste: Anything European.
Current Clothes: Optional.
Current Desktop: BMW Z4.
Current Toenail Color: Fuscia, with yellow polka dots.
Current Time: 12:57pm.
Current Surroundings: A realisation of Chaos Theory. A butterfly flapped its wings and my room occurred.
Current Annoyance(s): Self-important people.
Current Thought: Certain self-important people.

- 8 Firsts
First Best Friend: Jaime Foo, in exchange for five of my best stickers.
First Crush: The pretty maternity ward nurse who gave me my first suckle.
First Movie: Probably something by Disney.
First Piercing: I won't tell you but I'll show you. *Wink*
First Lie: I have never told a lie in my life.
First Music: My first musical memory was of this hymn, "Yahweh," which my parents used as a lullabye.
First Car: Bentley Continental.

- 7 Lasts
Last Drink: Good ol' H2O.
Last Car Ride: Cab ride home from Mhd Sultan on Sunday morning, after watching the Portugese keeper whack England's balls, literally.
Last Crush: A Coke can.
Last Movie Seen: Cars.
Last Phone Call: From Aaron, arranging an outing to East Coast tomorrow with Fang and Shandi.
Last CD Played: What's a CD?

- 6 Have You Evers
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: Never! That's philocide.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Everytime I click the "play" button on iTunes.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: Not yet.
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Not yet.
Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes. Some short film contest we did in poly.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: Not yet.

- 5 things you’re wearing.
1. Army singlet.
2. Boxers from Giordano.
3. Fila shorts.
4. Stoic expression.
5. I won't tell you but I'll show you. *Wink*

- 4 things you’ve done today.
1. Had breakfast.
2. Arranged to walk Shandi and Fang with Aaron tomorrow at East Coast.
3. Read the papers. MICA's taken issue with mr brown's columns, which it says encourages anti-government cynicism. *Roll eyes*
4. Surfed the blogs. mr brown's posted MICA's issue-taking letter on his blog; at last check, 106 cynical anti-government comments from his readers. *See above ocular gesture*

- 3 things you can hear right now.
1. Devil In The Wishing Well by Five For Fighting.
2. The dense wooden clashing of balls. (Yes! We have a pool table downstairs!)
3. Younger brother acting spastic downstairs.

- 2 things you can’t live without.
1. Internet.
2. Air.

-1 thing you do when you’re bored.
1. Fill in pointless number-based questionnaires.

Posted by Joel at 12:43 PM | Permalink | Comments

What does it say when an accident turns out to be the brightest spot in an event? It could mean that the event was a trial in mediocrity that was kindly vindicated by Murphy's Law, or it could be as an imperfection in a masterfully-crafted work of art that gives it its value in uniqueness. The SAF Day Parade 2006 was the latter.

It happened toward the end of the ceremony, as the parade commander was preparing to order the contingents off for the march-past. Facing the dignified assembly of spectators, with his back to his parade, he bellowed the order for the Colours (flags representing the various formations) to be raised, as he had done so countless times during the rehearsals over the past month. But nothing happened. The men did not move. It took him approximately three seconds to realise his error, that they were not in the correct posture for that command to be given: they were in the "at ease" position instead of the prerequisite "at attention" for them to properly execute the order. Recovering from initial uncertainty and with a remarkably confident "Semula!" (an appended nullifying command) which overtook the few seconds of doubt, he then went on to call his men to attention and reissued his order for the Colours to be raised.

Now this could have turned out to be an international embarrassment in front of the gamut of dignitaries, local and foreign, invited to watch the SAF showcase the regimental skill and discipline of its finest. But that was not to be. Instead, that gaff turned out to be a shining moment, showcasing exactly and exactingly the regimental skill and discipline of the SAF's finest for that one reason: the men did not move.

Those of us who have participated in our fair share of parades know that when a wrong command is given, it is inevitable that the less alert amongst the contingents' members would react to it by attempting to excute it even when they are in an inapproriate posture to do so (it does not help that the commands are given in Malay to a predominently Chinese demographic). In doing this, their sudden movements, which quickly become confused and awkward abortions as they realise no one else moved, are like highly visible fractures in the integrity of the contingents' stolid constitution. It is a given, even amongst the most seasoned parade sergeant majors (the men who orchestrate the parade rehearsals, traditionally known as the "Kings of the Parade Square") that some men, somewhere would perpetrate this; eventhough it would not be entirely their fault, as they were ironically, just following orders. That is how most parades are ruined.

But not the one held on the First of July, 2006. The men did not move. Of the thousand men on the parade square, not a twitch was observed when the wrong orders came. One thousand bodies that shared a singular impregnable mind. It would not have been inappropriate if the applause that had accompanied every sharply executed drill throughout the parade had also rung out in the seconds after that defining command. The silence and stillness that enveloped the square in what could have been cynically interpreted as a disobedience of orders spoke volumes about the alertness and mental fortitude of each individual soldier who represented the SAF on the parade square that day (as the Regimental Sergeant Major of the SAF later remarked, they were truly "thinking soldiers"). Beyond that, it spoke volumes about the effort and conscientiousness the men had put into the countless sapping rehearsals that marked the month before. It spoke volumes about the quality and ethic of the SAF.

It was also volume that marked the recitation of the SAF Pledge and the singing of the National Anthem moments before. The concluding line of the pledge where the men swore to protect the independence of the nation "with our lives!" was shouted with such frightening conviction that the shivers that went up my spine emerged as an emotional lump in my throat. And the anthem that had been sung into numbness at every single rehearsal suddenly came alive again, reanimated by the unrehearsed emotion of the moment.

It is necessary here to record that despite the mistake, the parade commander had been an inspiration for me and my colleagues by the absolute professionalism, conscientiousness and astuteness he displayed during the rehearsals every step of the way. And in fairness, the parade format that he had confidently mastered had to be abridged at the last minute because the President had taken ill and could not attend. Nerves get the better of even the best. Even then, history will associated him not with his oversight but with the greater good that came of it.

All told, it was a humbling and moving experience to have been part of this. Come the tenth day of August this year, I will look back on this day and think that the two years that led to this was worth it. Because while the men did not move, I, and many others were.

Posted by Joel at 9:33 PM | Permalink | Comments